雅思写作请高手打分挑错！1个错给1分！谢谢高手了！！

Today, china is in a tide of high-tech and high economic improvement rate, the speed of her development is amazed（amazing）. In current（我没有见到过这个用法，如果你确定的话，可以使用。不过我推荐currently 和 at the present time） , people can do a lot of things which can not realize（换个被动式 或者是 were not available in previous）（in previous 换成 简单的before 或者字数比较多的 in the old days）. Working at home is the one of those. Someone think（第三人称单数s） if they can work at home that will make he/she satisfaction（satisfied）, but another one（others） disagree. The reasons of them who agree or disagree is（are） as follow（given in the following paragraphs）.
Someone feel（s） working at home is deserved（去掉 is 直接用deserves 前边working at home 作为主语， 这里不用被动式） celebrate（要用名词或形容词 celebrating）, because that can make he/she more freedom（把动词make 换成 give）, he/she can plan their work in a more grammatical or humanization way. For example, if someone habit of get up later, and that can make he/she having（原型即可have） a better spirit or position, then he/she can delay his/her working time to night. Another reason is（这个句式中，最好加 that） working at home can save more dispensable time and fee（复数，其中包括各种费用）. People can efficient avoid the peak of traffic jam, if he/she live（第三人称单数 lives） far away from company ,he/she also can deposit a considerable sum of money（标准说法cut down the cost 节约开支，费用）. And also someone think home can provide more comfortable environment, in the noon, people usually want to sleep or have a break（注意你的文章是在雅思的考场上，而改卷人是西方人的话，他/她可能会不能理解你这个观点，因为大部分西方人没有午休时间睡觉，你可以改成have a cup of coffee）.
In the company he/she have to sleep as a sit position, that harmful for people’s neck waist and back. If someone stay at home, then he or she can go to bed enjoy a better rest.
There still someone who have the opposite opinion（这个there句式是错误的，你可以改成 Here are some opposite points for the topic）. Someone feel（第三人称单数） working at home will reduce the efficiency of work. It is easy to explain, certainly, there were so many things which he/she loved in his/her home, that will disturb his/her attention from work. Another reason is（加 that） working at home make the worker hard to control by the company. The boss is difficult to know where is his employees and what is he/she doing that maybe the worst thing to the boss. Furthermore（加，） people also consider if someone always working(用一般现在时，因为这个是从句，正常时态即可） at home in a single position, his/her society（形容词social） skill（s） and exchange（你是指交流吗？另一个词是communication） ability will be lost or reduced. Because he/she need not cooperation or speech at home.
In my opinion, some positions in the company would be allowed working at home, such as sale man/sale lady, if the company give more freedom and trust to him/her, he/she can frame time in a more efficient way. And consider about the job category the designer of product and the manager should better working at company, because he/she need cooperation（动词coorperate） with other people or attend to some meeting to determine some guidelines.

另：对于这个题型，作文的结构是开头引入，ad，dis，个人观点，结尾。你没有写结尾。当然这是我的个人观点。

Good luck！