求英语两人的幽默对话，5至6句。简单明了，初中范围！
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
英语双人情景幽默对话
经典对话一： 男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？） 女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。) 经典对话二： 男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？） 女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？） 经典对话三： 男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。） 女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。） 经典对话四： 男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。） 经典对话五： 男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？） 女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。） 经典对话六： 男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？） 女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）
这组对话只有看到最后才好玩，有趣。
A:I want some envelopes,please.
B:Do you want the large size or the small size?
A:The large size,please.
Do you have any writing paper?
B:Yes,we do.
I don't have any small pads.
I only have large ones.
Do you want a pad？
A:Yes,please.
And I want some glue.
B:A bottle of glue.
A:And I want a large box of chalk,too.
B:I only have small boxes.
Do want one?
A:No,thank you.
B:Is that all?
A:That's all,thank you.
B:What else do you want?
A:I want my change.
一简单搞笑的英语两人情景对话
A:Hello, I'm Ben. May I ask you some questions?
B:Sure.
A:What is your father's name?
B:Happy!
A:Then, What is your mother's name?
B:Smile!
A:Are you joking?
B:No! That's my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census
staff?
A:Of course not.
B:Go ahead.
A:OK. Your name is Kidding!
一段对话
Napolan and his soldiers（拿破仑这个单词我记不清楚了） 众士兵排列整齐的上。
M: Attention.（立正） Turn right/left. Quick time, march!（齐步走） (吹哨)
Halt!(立定) Turn right/left. At ease!(稍息).Dismiss!(解散)
M: Hello!Everyone! This is Sam. He is Swede. Today he join us. Let's give
him a warm welcome!
Ss: Welcome! Welcome! (握手、拍肩 和他打招呼，但是他摇摇头) M: He doesn't know French at all.
Ss: What a pity!
A: I hear Napolan will be here in a month.
M: What shall we do?
B. I hear N often asks three quenstions. and often in an order. The first
one is
the Amry?
M: All of us have no problem except Sam. He doesn't know French.
What
shall we do?
B. I have an idea. From now on all of us teach him the three questions at
any time.
Ss: Good!
各种场合：
睡觉: A: Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
A: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
A: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
吃饭:B:Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
B: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
B: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
跑步：C:Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
C: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
C: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
.....
Ss: We believe that's no problem at all.
N is coming. N is coming.
(众士兵立正)
N: Hello! Everyone. How are you?
Ss: Fine. Thank you!sir!
Sam 在哆嗦，引起了拿破仑的注意。
N: （走到他的面前）Well. How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 21 . sir.
N: (非常吃惊的) How old are you?
Sam: (非常自信的) 3 .sir.
N: (生气的) Either you or I am mad!!!!
Sam:(洋洋得意的)Both. sir!!!
Ss: My god!!!
今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思 老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？ 我说：“我不知道” 老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！ 我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！ 老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&..(一顿爆揍) 老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。 我说：是“我知道“ 老妈：知道就快说。 我说：就是“我知道“ 老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？ 我说：就是我知道呀！ 老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍) 老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？ 我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧 这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~“ 我:“我很烦,别烦我“ 老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁) 老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“ 我说:“我没听清,再说一次“ 老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“ “我没听清,再说一次“ 结果被扁 老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“ 我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁) 老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’ 我说:“查字典“ “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁) 老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“ 我说:“你最好问别人“ “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“ “啊!god save me !“ “上帝救救我吧!” “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁) 我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“ 我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“ “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手 我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思” “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”
